Frank and Honest

I really don't think being "Frank and Honest" with one's child is necessarily a good thing, especially when it comes to a remarriage, and the state of that marriage.

My husbands kids, according to his ex wife, basically had a hard time accepting the divorce in  that, they missed him terribly. Of course, this worked out well for his ex wife, because it's what she played on, their emotions. Then when it seems inevetible that a second divorce may be in the works, it's compounds the emotions. I'm not a doctor of any kind, it's just what I believe and feel.

In July 1999, the ex told their daughter that she and her husband were trying to talk things out, but not much was going on at the moment. She tells her daughter not to worry about her, and to remember that she "survived being married once before" and she will do it again. She tells her that she is a big girl and have been in a few relations that hadn't worked out and how sometimes you "just have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince." She posed the question, "is "John" my prince?" and told her daughter she didn't know, but that she thought so and time will tell them the answer. Mind you, at this time, their daughter is 12. WHY on God's earth would you ask your daughter about her thoughts and what she's thinking about you and your husband's relationship at the moment?

Let me back track for a minute. On June 7th. 1999, during a phone conversation, the ex told me that not only was she diagnosed with severe depression, but that she was going to be on my door step and I had better be afraid. She said she was going to continue to threaten me until "every inch of my bone and body is afraid" of her and that I had BETTER be afraid because she was going to be on my doorstep. She ALSO told me during this conversation, that she right now, she was going to get a divorce and I can just thank myself for that, "OK!?" When I confimed that she ACTUALLY said I was the cause of her divorce, she said "YEAH!" and I'm sorry, I HAD to laugh! I said, "OH My GOD, that's too funny! You're blaming me for your problems!" Keep in mind, we lived nearly 1500 miles away. :-)

WHY on God's green earth would you discuss your marriage with your kids? It just baffles me, but yet, tells me a WHOLE lot as to why she, the ex, treated my husband the way she did.

She ended up filing for divorce on 10-06-00. The divorce was completed 01-08-01. On May 16, 2003, she  advised my husband's work, for child support purposes I imagine, that effective 05-16-03, her last name will go back to her maiden name.

In Feb 2006, I read that the ex broke up with her boyfriend. In October, I read that she was engaged. In 2008, on another website, I had read that she was engaged to her 2nd ex husband, and that she is very much in love with him and have been for the last "30 years" and how he will always be first in her life.

30yrs huh? Make sense when she told my husband that she "needed a lifetime back." But, 30 yrs ago, (from 2008, was 1978, when she graduated from high school. Kind of gives a slap in the face to her betrothed's ex wife, and to my husband, BUT, my husband KNEW, even though she would never confirm, when they were married something was going on. According to my husband, whenever they would fight, she would tell him, "Well, John will take care of me, I'll just go with him..." he said, "GO!"

SHE has a VERY big part in the break down of the relationship between father (my husband) and his children, though she doesn't own it.

I can't even IMAGINE how she treated her now husband's ex wife, or HIS son.


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