Showing posts from 2006


Saturday was her funeral and though it was a beautiful service, it was also one of the hardest funerals I had been too. There were some things that I took as signs that my husband was with her too. (He really loved B and her daughter, and they loved him too) One was the little Memorial card they handed out. It was the same kind I had when I had the one's made for my husband service. Another one was when the Reverened was talking about how B's soul was now free, it was just her body we were putting in the ground. Before my husband died, he told me that he wanted to be cremated (sp?) because his soul is no longer in his body and he didn't want me to have the expense of burying his body in the ground. THEN, the guitarist/soloist BEAUTIFULLY sang, "I Can Only Imagine" (by Mercy Me) and after my husband died, that was the song that I played over and over again, because it made me think of my husband and what he did when he stood in front  his Heavenly Father. To go ba…

Junk Mail

twice within a week I got junk mail for two of my former stepkids, N and L. N has not ever been to this address. Hell, his dad or I haven't seen him in 5-6 yrs. L was here for one week in 2002.

What's up with that...them getting junk mail here at my home. My OWN kids don't get junk mail, and they LIVE here, LOL...

Oh well, thank goodness it's only junk mail :-)

The Day My Husband Died, written a year later...

Today was probably the worst day of my life. I had been busy with daily life, as usual. My husband was delivering mail right across the street, but about 1130am, (not sure if that is really the time, but it's the time that sticks in my head) he stopped by to bring me our mail, to kiss me and tell me he loved me. I had NO IDEA what was in store for our lives.

I remember looking at the clock and it said 3:38pm. I was leaving to go pick our daughter up from school and to take her and our son to get a bite to eat. They wanted McDonalds.

I got home at approx 410pm and noticed there was a message on my phone. I listened to it. It was one that I will never forget. It was a message from my husbands work, telling me I needed to call them, that my husband had been taken to the ER, for what was thought to be a heart attack.

I did panic, but calmed myself thinking they had to be wrong, he probably just pulled a muscle somehow, and it felt like he was having a heart attack. I called his work, and…

Took A Nap today....

and  dreamed of my husband.  I actually was able to  HEAR him in my dream :-) I told him I believed he had sent K to me and my husband said, "Well, tell K..." and I didn't hear it. When I told K about it, he said that makes sense because my husband would always tell him, "K, I was told to tell you something..." All I know is that whatever it was I was to tell K, was nothing bad, because I don't have a bad feeling about it. My husband was smiling when he said that. Maybe I will get the rest of what he was to say later in another dream, or maybe my husband will "visit" K :-) This was the first DREAM I was actually able to HEAR my husband. Usually, he has someone with him who will tell me what he is saying. This was the first dream that I have had with my husband since I heard my husband say, 'let me go" (from my other post). Hope everyone is having a happy Veterans Day!! GOD BLESS OUR VETS (my husband was one and K is one as well) and ALL ou…


Tuesday, June 13, 2006- Oh Boy! today when I picked up my son from school, his teacher talked to me. She was telling me that when they practiced the song, "Proud to be an American" for their program tomorrow, my son broke down and cried. She wanted to know my thoughts on whether it would be too much for him to sing tomorrow. She said she thinks he should sing it with the group. I told her that I had spoken to him about this, after his break down last week from it, and I suggested that maybe he could ask his teacher if he can hold a picture of his dad in his military uniform as he sings the song, but my son didn't want to ask. I also told her that he breaks down every time he practices the song here at home. His teacher said she would allow him to hold the picture of his dad if it would help him get through the song, so we shall see how tomorrow goes. I am hoping it will make him feel closer to his dad.  I told her not to look at me, because I,  no doubt will be just as e…

Got A Taste

somewhat of what it will be like when I clean out my husbands things. Late yesterday afternoon, I decided to look for a drawer my landlord was inquiring about that he needed to fix. I had told him a little while ago that the drawer was in the garage, and I would look through my husbands things and find it. Well, all I did was move things around, and it hit me, I was looking through my husbands things and I started to cry. I was glad my kids weren't there to see me, but I cried and asked my husband where this drawer was (which I did receive and answer for - my landlord has it, and he seems to have forgotten he does) and I also told my husband that we never discussed what was to be done with his tools, etc should something happen to him. It's 7 months this month, and all his clothes are still hanging up, his clothes are still in his dresser drawers, with the exception of some of his t-shirts that my daughter likes to wear, and the bag that I got from this hospital is still where I…

Predicting Death....

October 9, 2001 Keith had a signature line "When God misses you, you die" The email he sent to both kids  went like this, "Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them? I was thinking...I could die tomorrow or next week and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said. Sometimes, "I love you" can heal and bless. Let every one of your friends k now you love them. Even if you think they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do. Just in case I die tomorrw...I LOVE YA!! Send this to at least 4 people you love and send it back to the person who sent it to you. Dad"  UNFORTUNATELY, Juanita convinced the kids, in particular, their daughter that Keith was telling all of them to go to HELL.

On February 20, 2003,  Nick used a signature line in his email to Keith that read, "When God misses you, y…

She Obviously Knew She Pissed Him Off and Stressed Him Out....

Nov 23, 2003, my husbands ex wife wrote me (I used another name and email) and stated the following, “…You need to help Mr. *last name* before he has a heart attach and leave all his children fatherless. Even then I would have a hassle to get Social Security Benefits due to his current wife...”

June 18, 2005 she wrote, “… you missed out on the best part of your children’s lives because of your selfishness. You couldn’t even attend their graduations. Guess you won’t be there for their weddings or childbirths either…”

He missed out on his children’s lives for many reasons, though NOT for the lack of trying, but because his ex was very bitter and couldn’t separate financials from visitation, and did NOT promote a healthy relationship between the kids and their dad. His son graduated in 2002, and my husband could not get the time off work,  His vacation request had been denied. Guess his ex would have rather have him THERE without a job and not get her child support? His daughter graduat…

Visitation History

My husband did NOT want to be married to his ex any longer.  He defaulted. She got the house, all the furnishings, appliances, and personal effects currently in her possession and her ’86 Nissan 200 SX. It was also ordered that neither party shall annoy harass telephone or otherwise disturb the peace of the other party, (THAT was a joke)  The divorce was final November 1990.

His ex moved the kids to another state in Feb 1993. He saw the kids when he was ALLOWED to, as she felt all vistation was to go through her only, in other words, what she said, went.

Case in point…May 1995, she wrote my husband and told him, “As per the child settlement agreement I have the right to authorize the visitation as I see fit.” She went on to write that she was “requesting that the kids get to spend the entire vacation with you not working if this is not going to be the case we can arrange another time for visitation…” She further stated that the “divorce papers that you did not appear to contest say t…

Should I Stay or Should I Go

Sometimes I felt like a freaking ping pong ball, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no…etc… and this was a result of my husbands ex-wife. The one constant was, she hated me, LOATHED me and I really have no idea why. Perhaps it was my investigative “Charm” I had. My husband didn’t believe hardly ANYTHING she told him, and with good reason.

Having said that, one minute SHE would involve me in insurance stuff and visitation, hell, she and I even had a 45 minute conversation after my son was born, but the next minute, she was cursing my husband and I because SHE involved me,  LOL…it was CRAZY!

After awhile, I just did as my husband asked me to do, whether it be call the providers she used to give insurance info, or call the insurance company for the status of claims, etc. Of COURSE, everyone knew that due to HIPPA, they could only give out certain information, but I didn’t WANT MEDICAL information, that info was given on the eob’s as an ICD-9 code, duh!

ANYWAY, the emails after emails after emails f…


SO, just as I support Freedom of Speech,  I also believe that when someone writes something about someone and maligns them, the person or spokesperson (posthumously) has a right to defend and correct any misinformation, which is what I have done in regards to my husbands ex wife.

Just as SHE decided to malign him on  more than ONE public message board, I decided to speak truth on MY blog.

I’m sure this is not over with, not by a long shot, but I hope that she thinks about her next move very carefully…and I hope she decides to leave ME and MY children alone.

"I will not defame his name...he was a wonderful giving and generous and kind and compassionate man..."

Those are written words by my husbands ex in Feb 2006. Believe it? It’s best that you don’t, here’s why: On that same day, she also writes:

1. “…why in 12 yrs of his younger children living in another state did he not go to visit them…”
2. “…Why did “he” never attend a soccer game, a drama performance, or for that matter any of his children’s graduation ceremonies from any grade…?
3. “…Why didn’t “he” pick up the telephone and call his children during the last 5 years…?”
4.”…he LEFT THEM…”
5. “…13 years and never one visit after many invitations…”
6. “…he deserted his kids for over 6 months plus more, left us without support…”
7. “…Why didn’t “he” ever come to Washington to see his kids if he missed them so much…?”
8. “…Why didn’t he show up for graduations after so many invitations…”
9.”…he never came to visit his kids here in 13 years after several invitations…”
10. “…what he did for his 2nd sons 5th birthday. He never showed up…”
11. “…he failed to tell you about the 6 months when…

More lies....

The fact of the matter is, he saw the kids as often as SHE let him. Her emails of “encouraged visits”? guess she forgot to send them because the emails and phone calls he got whenever it was time to discuss visitation was completely different. In fact, there’s been emails and phone calls of you THREATENING him with a restraining order if he went to see the kids while they visited her mom in the county of San Diego! She  did not pay for visitation most of the time, MUST she be reminded how it went down? Really? Because she KNOW’S I will….
Bullshit she had to drive to LA to “find” him, she knew how to contact him and him leaving her sure didn’t stop her from writing checks out to herself from his business account.

I didn’t harass her daughter. My email to her in Feb 2005 would show that. SHE is the one that got snotty with me, so I simply told her never mind because of her attitude and accusations. She got some pics from me, and she had been sent pics in the past of herself with her da…

WHO is she trying to convince!? LOL

She and my husband were divorced in Nov 1990. He kept letters she wrote prior to and after that. She moved the kids away and remarried in 1993. I met my husband in 1992, we started dating in the summer of 1994, so I have known about his ex for quite some time, before we actually met in the summer of 1995. I had met the kids Christmas 1994 when they stayed with us for 4 days. About 4 month later,  (april 1995) she already  telling my husband to tell me to butt out, because we had sent the kids a box of gifts and I sent a note  with along with it, not normally a big deal, but she told him that it was “obvious” to the kids that the box came from me, NOT him but they were happy to to receive anything from him. Obvious to whom?
She has harassmed me CONSTANTLY, from day ONE  (april  1995) until January 2010. why does she feel the need to let people know, people that she doesn’t even KNOW, that I am the biggest liar she knows? Why does she think they would care? how sick is she?

She says th…

um, WRONG....

I started NOTHING. She started all this just before she dropped the kids off in the summer of 1995 and she hasn’t stopped, even as recently as earlier this year, and last year when she accused me of stalking her.


Yes, a nasty bitter ex  she has/had been. She was NOT at peace with Keith before he met me. Keith ived with my sister, and my sister knew of the hassles the ex gave Keith.  yes, she’s right, she DID keep the kids away from him! Proof of all the denied visitations are proof of that! he left HER, not them, but because he left HER, after she TOLD HIM to, she used the kids against him. If  her leaving keith had nothing to do with why the other ‘relationships” in her life ended then WHY has she blamed ME and convinced her kids it’s MY fault and I’m the cause of  her second divorce? Why read a public website? LMAO…is she KIDDING ME!? What has she done!? I may have just READ, but she INVADED… Again, he didn’t LEAVE his kids, SHE asked him to leave, HE LEFT, she says here HE LEFT, and because he wouldn’t take her back, she used the kids against him and TURNED them against him and used her hatred for ME as her weapon. She never invited him, but ONE time, in 2002 for her son’s graduation. She …

Feb 22, - Feb 27 2006

On 2-22-06, I did place a harassment report with the ex’s local PD. They did get intouch with her because on the 27th of Feb, she fired off this letter that I recieved in the mail…

   I hadn't contacted her by email, phone, voice mail, text message, public websites, and blogs, in writing at her home post office box or at her employment. She's wacked. In the past, when my husband was alive, yes, I did, with his authorization, about medical eob's or claims or airfare, or in response to something she wrote about me that wasn't true.

The last thing I had written her was dated, 12-5-05, after my husbands death, telling her and her children that the letter had served as their formal notice that I would not speak to her or her adult children, ages 21 and 18 by phone, or by any other manner at all or at any time, and that if she wanted to find out anything or have any questions regarding benefits, to please contact a lawyer, and not me.

See, on 12-4-05, the DAY of my husbands f…

She continues...

No, he didn’t desert his kids, she was getting paid, she was writing checks off his business account, he paid her in cash, she even stated she went on welfare for a brief time and never put the money Keith gave her in Revenue and Recovery fund they wanted her to. Her belief system is wacked, LOL… of course he knew, how could he NOT, with the nearly every day emails and all too frequent phone calls, under the guise of “it’s about the kids” and scream and holler and hassle him about EOB’s and reimbursements and other non sense. “about the kids” means, what are they doing, how are they doing, how’s their health. I will never believe her daughter loved him like she should have. I do believe his oldest daughter loved him as best she could, but I do not and will never believe her daughter did, she was TOO poisoned by HER hatred for him, SHE may have not even realize it, but DO NOT blame me for her bad choice in telling him to stay out of her life and to tell him to f*ck off.  She says she …

Stalking me through a friends blog....

So the ex is quiet for about 5 days, then BAM, she pops up on a FRIENDS public website and start her crap there…not once, but  responds to things people write, 5 different times….


I havent BEGUN to dedicate any large section to the ex. What I write now, is a drop in the bucket compared to what I COULD write. Why would the ex send pictures to him after their divorce when she married her second husband? Why would she think my husband would care!? He didn’t and he didn’t know why you sent them other than to confirm what he had been told for so long during your marriage to him that you would just go with her now second ex husband now boyfriend. He told me many times that when she would say that he would say, “GO, GO with him, give me a break!” He just didn’t care, it was no shock to him, didn’t “hurt” him in the least, if that what her intentions were when she sent the pics of  her second marriage.


I emailed her with CC’s to her local PD a CEASE and  DESIST letter. I repeated her actions on my public website on this same day, and reminded her that her accusations that I killed my husband was very strong with no support facts and that if she did not stop, I would slap her with a defamation of  character, libel and slander lawsuit.

That did nothing. Keep reading….

2nd Response to EX

Again, let's get it straight. See, your wicked lies are showing you can't keep facts straight. There was  ONE previous marriage before you. It lasted from Nov 1969 to June 1977. Out of THAT marriage was 2 kids who were adults already when I came into the picture. There was no way for me to have anything to do with THEIR relationship with their dad since they were adults. Their relationship was what it was. Ok, got that? Clear enough? Then there is your marriage. You were married in the summer of 1984 and divorced Nov 1990. There were two kids born of this..."union." YOU moved the kids from the county of San Diego in Feb 1993. Keith and I were not even together during his 3 week visit in the Summer 1993. I first met your kids at Christmas 1994, when you allowed them to see their dad for 4 days, and Keith and I were living together at that time. I didn't see the kids again until the Summer of 1995, and that is when I first met YOU, and what a greeting it was. Howe…

Look who made a 2nd visit!

7 minutes after the first post....

Again with the libel…PROVE that I made his life hell  and that I killed him.
I ‘sucked the life out of him?’ wow, in an email dated Jan 5th 2004, she told him, ”… your spine has been sucked out with a straw through your ass by the persons you live with. I bet you can’t shit without her inspecting  it for some form of transmission to the outside world…”  MORE LIBEL

 First of all, this is from a woman who works with the public everyday as a Branch Manager, isn’t that nice?

 Secondly,  ”by the persons”? The “persons” he lived with were myself and our two minor children. Isn’t she sweet…NOT.  It was no shock when her daughter called my daughter “stupid”

Response to the EX....

That's right, there are two sides, actually three sides to every story. Her's, his, and somewhere in the middle is the TRUTH. Having said that...

Think for YOURself...why would Keith's ex wife send him pictures of herself and her new husband? This is the guy that she always told Keith, whenever they would fight, that she will just go with him, he will marry her and take care of her. Did she send them just to show that she did what she said she was going to do? WHO CARES, really, but we kept the pics anyway.

What stories, pre tell? I actually did NOTHING to keep him from all his children from "previous marriages." First of all, there was ONE ex wife before you. That marriage ended in 1977 and those two kids were already adults, about 25 and almost 22, by the time I came into the picture, in 1994, so whatever their relationship was, already was that way. Nice try though.

YOU made sure he lost his kids he had with you. Don't you remember a conversation you and …


9 days ago, I received an email from my husbands ex telling me to leave them alone, stop doin what I am doing NOW, she was going to get a restraining order against me from contacting them again or have me arrested,  she told me to move on with my life,  that I caused his death,  just a bunch of  stuff, right?

 Then why the hell is she “stalking” me on my personal website on msn spaces? not once, but TWICE….

 There’s actually 3 sides to every story MOST of the time,  each persons side and the one in the middle where the truth really lies.

 Again, PROVE that I killed my husband.  I was never arrested for it, what information and/or proof do you have that justifies your LIBELOUS accusation? C’mon woman, the police might be interested in what proof you have.

 OH the irony of her words, talking about GOD and judging/judgment  and wicked lies being the stepping stones  to hell…

Her favorite two words, HARASSMENT and STALKING....

Even though I remembered the stinging words of my former stepdaughter to my husband in Oct 2005, telling him to fuck off,  I had thought MAYBE she would want some pics of him.

On Jan 31st, 2006, I emailed my former stepdaughter, telling her that I hoped the email found her doing well, and I know she hates me, but I was wondering if she wanted any of the pics we had taken of her, my husband and my son and to let me know.

On Feb 1, she responded and said, ‘Yes, that would be great…otherwise I have nothing to do with you at all…” Uh, WHY was that necessary? In fact, my response to her was, “Never mind, forget I asked…a simple yes or no would have sufficed, but apparently that was too much to ask. I ask out of kindness, thinking you were probably having a hard time since you told your dad to F off. but apparently, you can’t let things go. Guess what? HE DID as you asked, LITERALLY…bet that makes you feel so much better. So, never mind, I will keep the pictures for (my son) or in a box. S…